Let Me Entertain You! Higgs on the Brit Awards

Let Me Entertain You!

part one

Oh dear! I seem to have incurred rapper-wroth. I hope I’m not going to be shot! I therefore apologise if my message was in any way misunderstood.

Apparently I have a thing or two to learn about the subject of music and production! I very much look forward to this. However, there are a couple of points I would like to make before my education begins!

There are people on here who seem to think they are dealing with some form of high-art? In saying that I have been told not to count out all Hip-Hop practitioners, and I accept this criticism. However, I know of several producers churning this stuff out like a sausage factory and it just amazes me just how many people buy into it. Take it from me, they work in a very cynical way. When people talk about an ‘evolving culture’ the creators of this nepotistic detritus are simply second-guessing what their so-called fans will swallow/buy next..no matter how you look at it there is a question of perceived integrity. I suppose everyone finds their level don’t they. My father for instance use to go on about how brilliant the ‘Worzells’ were, they were in fact completely crap, but who was I to argue? A Myspacer has left some poem/verse on my page, now to me it looks quite good, but then again I’m not a poet so it might well be crap, again who am I? Some of this stuff may have taken talent, then again I knew someone who could fart ‘god save the queen’ in b-flat. Talented…Maybe, but would you buy it? Actually I think I might, just for a laugh! Some people think that ‘Dirty Dancing’ is the best movie of all time! I think you get the point.

We live in a frustrating world, whilst much of it to me sounds like cats-balls on a biscuit tin – don’t ask! to the general populous it’s all wonderful and short of compulsory brain surgery there’s nothing much we can do about it because the Toms of this world are sinking vast sums of money into what is essentially low-art.
Actually I do think there is a place for everything in the universe, I couldn’t really call myself Higgs Boson and think otherwise. I suppose what agitates me about the accountant friendly genre’s is the apparent ease in which they seem to achieve success/kudos, and lets face it, it’s success that is largely dependent upon ignorance rather than a genuine understanding of what is or isn’t any good. In respect of my own music you can say what you like. In a perverse way I almost derive as much pleasure from people who absolutely hate it than I do people who love it, but say what you like, it has integrity! My music was not borne out of a desire to make money. The same philosophy can be applied to all the musicians I have worked with who like me have devoted their lives to being the best they can be.

Notwithstanding, if I ever found myself in front of the likes of Simon Cowell, which lets face it is about as likely as getting a knee-trembler from prince Philip, I would simply get booed off-stage.

Don’t get me started!
too late…

Now did anyone happen to witness Brits 2007? (award cere-money)
They seem to be handing out awards to various bands voted for by people who are quite literally dead from the neck up.

Winners 2007
* British Male Solo Artist – James Morrison
* British Female Solo Artist – Amy Winehouse
* British Group – Arctic Monkeys
* MasterCard British Album – Arctic Monkeys
“Whatever people say I am, that’s what I’m not”
* British Single – Take That “Patience”
* British Breakthrough Act – Fratellis
* British Live Act – Muse
* International Male Solo Artist – Justin Timbertrousers
* International Female Solo Artist – Nelly Furtado
* International Group – The Killers
* International Album – Killers “Sam’s Town”
* International Breakthrough Act – Orson
* Outstanding Contribution to Music – Oasis

This is going to sound very much like the inate ramblings of an old muso wallowing in obscurity, and to a certain extent that’s true. However, I’m afraid that’s not going to stop me..
Perhaps a more appropriate or should I say obvious title would be ‘Shits 2007′. Although I only watched the last hour of the show I have to say it almost had me frothing at the mouth, after which I very nearly threw the TV out the window in rage!! I know, I know, this probably says more about me than the actual show..anyroad…

Lets start with my main gripe ‘Oasis’, they won the ‘Outstanding Contribution To Music’ award. I’m sorry, I just don’t get this either, perhaps that’s because I’m not snorting a bucket of cocaine every half-hour. I can’t believe that Oasis were voted for by people who are in any way still alive. They must have a huge warehouse somewhere, similar to or as in the Matrix have millions of barely alive brains in a jam-jar wired up to their voting system.

Musically Oasis are not doing anything that other far superior bands weren’t doing during the 1970′s. For me it’s just root-note Status Quo with attitude. If that deserves an Outstanding Contribution To Music award then will someone please give Dubya a ring, wrap me up in explosives and call me Osama!
I have a dream….that one day people suddenly wake up from their accountant induced coma and realise that Liam can’t sing and his brother can’t play a fucking guitar. No offense – I don’t wish to deny anyones rightful place in music history but in the case of Oasis, come on! One or two memorable tunes/songs if you can call them that, does not entitle you to be mentioned in the same breath as The Beatles, for fuck sake!

My wife has an Oasis album, I think it’s called ‘Definitely Maybe’? or Definitely Shite? Unless I am labouring under some gross misapprehension and have yet to be introduced to some magnificent Oasis music can someone please explain to me in what form does this outstanding contribution to music take? Are there some monumental new chord progressions? Come on..Thrill me, chill me!!

The MasterCard British Album was won by Arctic Monkeys with “Whatever people say I am, that’s what I’m not”. Ok then, you’re a bunch of amazing musicians with blistering technique and a terrific sense of humour….I mean, did you see their contribution to the show? Talk about humourless, although they were dressed in what I presumed to be joke costumes not one of them raised a smile…in fact the spokesperson looked very much like someone had just shat in his pocket and he’d just found out! I cannot believe what I am about to say, considering the fact that boy-bands during the 1980′s were one of my absolute pet-hates, but blow me down, ‘Take That’ were the only group/collection of people there with a modicum of integrity.

It is absolutely clear to me, if Myspace is anything to go by, and incidentally Myspace does have it’s good points I mean how else would I have interested so many people in my music and with people as far a field as Alaska? Anyway it’s clear that I and many others are truly up against it because rappers and the like totally dominate the industry. So getting a mainstream distribution deal, which is the only real way to promote an album btw, that is being on the radio/television and in the shops simultaneously is now almost a ridiculous fantasy, especially for musicians who strive to push the envelope beyond the intellectual limits of people like Tom.

Happy days

No offence…..

Higgs Boson