Well, I must admit, despite the fact that I actually think that musicians should keep their snouts out of politics altogether I’m afraid I just can’t resist saying something about it, comedians are at it so why shouldn’t I ? – [...]]]> Politics
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Category: News and Politics

The Kampf

Chapter two

Politics

Well, I must admit, despite the fact that I actually think that musicians should keep their snouts out of politics altogether I’m afraid I just can’t resist saying something about it, comedians are at it so why shouldn’t I ? – So, where do I begin? I suppose a good start would be to talk about my Grandfather on my mother’s side of the family, a huge influence on me as it happens. He was born in the year 1900. He died in January 1986, same day as the Shuttle disaster. He fought in two World Wars, he did his duty, he served his country.

Voting…

Whatever it was that made people like my Grandfather fight in two World Wars is of course debatable. Obviously the threat of invasion played a major part but I can’t quite bring myself to believe it was ’freedom and democracy’ in the way our beloved politicians would have us believe, especially for those who willingly gave their lives, those brave souls who fought at Dunkirk for instance, knowing full-well that for them it was the end. The attitude was one of – well when I’m killed someone will be able to climb over my body to gain another foot or so up the beach – moving but depressing stuff. I always think of these men when I’m confronted with mindless bureaucracy created by the politicians who claim that their right to exist as politicians was brought about by the efforts and motives of such men. Perhaps the politicians would do well to consider the notion that their motives were much more to do with protecting their own families rather than keeping politicians families in pate de fuagre. War, is after all a failure of politics, is it not.

My Grandfather came from what I would describe as humble beginnings; he left school at the age of 14 with very little education but somehow managed to survive on his wits. He always described himself as a Menshevik; I was never quite sure what that meant over and above some kind of Socialist? I do know that he was vehemently anti-authority and perhaps this rubbed off on me a tad. I have somewhere a photograph of him eating his last bag of chips before the Government put VAT on them. Talk about defiance…I won’t go into details but he was a very brave man, especially in the First World War. He was awarded the Croix de Guerre. Interestingly, through all the hardship/heartache not to mention huge sacrifices he only ever voted once in his entire life and that was because my Grandmother nagged him about it. He told me that within weeks of voting for this character, once elected was given the directorship of 4 banks at a salary of over 100k per annum. I’m not entirely sure when this was but I think it was back in the early 1950’s when 100k was an absolute fortune. I mean you could’ve purchased half of Wales for that sort of money and still had enough change for a sizable bucket of the legendary Hockings Ice-cream.

Such is the disillusion with politics here in the UK the voting habits of the nation are at an all-time low. This is hugely encouraging, although I suspect that the reason has more to do with drunken laziness than any intellectual stand-point. Notwithstanding, it seems incredible to me that politicians claim to have a ’mandate’ to introduce all sorts of extreme legislation most of which people in general, when sober, disagree with. Politicians are clearly using 9/11 as an excuse to spend enormous sums of public money. Media pressure clearly leads to knee-jerk politics, introducing draconian laws drafted by those witless buffoons that went to Oxford and Cambridge. Take this business of ID cards, now how in gods name is this going to protect us from terrorism?….these fuckers are on a cash and information drive….that’s what it is. It would not surprise me in the slightest if they all have shares in the company that produces the cards. ALL politicians seem to have one aim, and that is to remove our rights and privileges whilst making merry with public money.

It also seems to me that politicians spend the vast majority of their time squabbling over internal party political affairs, at public expense. Look at this recent debacle over MPs expenses. Fuck me no wonder they look so pissed off when they lose an election. Becoming an MP is a bit like winning the fucking lottery. Well let’s face it; you need to actually be a lottery winner in order to fund any kind of election campaign these days and that being the case you have to question the credibility of any democracy that is run on such a basis. EU politicians (MEPs) got caught red-handed with their snouts in the trough. Apparently they were turning up at Brussels purely to claim their expenses then getting back on the train to go home, fuckers. And another thing: where the fuck do they find all these people with enough spare cash to fund there political parties in the first place? Bernie Ecclestone (Formula One Racing) apparently gave the Labour party one million pounds, one fucking million! How bereft of morals, what kind of manipulative a-moral sod would you have to be to actually have a million in spare change to give to that lot? Surely, if you had any kind of moral base whatsoever you’d give it to an orphanage or something, wouldn’t you? I mean if I had a spare million floating around the fucking labour party would be at the very bottom of my list of priorities!

I sometimes watch a TV program called Question Time hosted by the eminently respectable David Dimbleby. The program consists of a panel of guests, a mixture of politicians and celebrities usually, with an audience made-up from members of the public. The big subject this week was this new EU Treaty, yawn. According to some politicians this treaty will deny yet more of our rights and remove our UK politicians from the decision making process .. issues. Paradoxically that fact alone I would have thought gives it the thumbs-up? According to some politicians this treaty is so radical that it requires a referendum before it is ratified. Anyway, this week’s ’celebrity’ was broadcaster and comedian Marcus Brigstocke who appeared to be saying that because the treaty is so complicated we the public should not be voting on it in a referendum. He went on to say that this is why we elect politicians who are intelligent enough to understand the complexities of said treaty, it’s a parliamentary democracy etc etc…. Well then, surely, the act of determining the intelligence of a politician is even more complex so using his argument we shouldn’t be voting at all. Quite right Marcus, after all Blair was elected on the basis of his youth, and that ridiculous smile, was he not? You simply can’t make these sorts of decisions on the back of deliberately distorted media presentations and two minutes on the fucking doorstep, if you’re lucky, or unlucky as the case may be. In case you were in any doubt about how seriously deluded our politicians are; take the new 24h drinking laws and recent smoking ban. Our politicians actually thought this would generate a continental café style culture in Britain. Fucking unbelievable! It simply does not get anymore removed from reality than that…I quite like what Frankie Boyle said about the recent smoking ban. Apparently a number of grotty/horrible pubs in Glasgow put tables and chairs outside and it all started to look like Paris after a Nuclear War. I mean, EU politicians must be shitting themselves at the idea of Britain being more involved in mainland Europe decision making. I would be if I were them. —- Incidentally, if there was a referendum on whether or not the UK should remain part of the European Union I would vote to stay out, simply to save Europe from the English. When I go to France for a holiday the very last thing I want to see is a fucking roadside Little Chef café or worse…..Before you know it the Eiffel Tower will get bull-dozed to make way for sheltered housing. I certainly have mixed emotions whenever I see hoards of Brits heading off to foreign parts. On one hand I’m glad they’ve gone and on the other I feel really embarrassed/sorry for the poor fuckers on the other end who have to endure their presence.

It just amazes and amuses me that politicians would have us all believe that they are somehow presiding over a huge success story when half the country is in massive amounts of personal debt, people are binge drinking themselves to death and pulling out their own teeth. Binge drinking, is another recent political sound bite isn’t it. When did this happen? As I understand it, binge drinking is brief periods of heavy drinking followed by abstinence. What the fuck are they talking about, this has always happened, abstinence happens when your money runs out.

Apparently we now consume 14 million pints less than we did during the 1970s, why am I not surprised. People in the 70s must have been considerably better off than we are now because I went for beer the other day and very nearly had to give the bank manager a call. So the problem of alcoholism must have been a lot worse back then and yet at that time politicians were silent on the issue. Why? This is yet more proof, if proof were needed, that they are perpetually scratching where there is no itch. They are continually sticking their noses into people’s private parts, literally in some cases.

People have a right to drink but they do not have a right to expect other people to pay for the consequences. The same goes for drugs, smoking or any self inflicted disease. My policy on drugs is simple: Prince Charles or the Duke of Westminster should buy-up all there is and leave it in a fucking great heap on Dartmoor. People could then simply help themselves, those that want to kill themselves, go ahead. This would certainly help decrease the surplus population! Cripes, I’m starting to sound like Scrooge, I don’t care!

Just look at the Houses of Parliament, the whole systems a fucking joke. As far as I’m concerned the very best outcome of any election is a ’hung Parliament’ (votes evenly distributed between political parties with no out-right winner). This is to have 650 politicians all scratching their arses unable to agree on anything. This means they won’t be able to fuck anything else up. Lest we forget Adolph, better just call him Adolph because such is the level of political correctness (PC) here in Europe the very mention of the word Hitler is about as welcome as an itchy bell-end at the state opening of an orphanage, was democratically elected.

Talking of which, as soon as Blair and Brown appeared on our television screens I knew they were blagging their way to the top. Remember the old adage: the organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank – the really big chunks always rise to the top. Anyway, Blair and Brown were clearly taking full advantage of the death of John Smith, one of the very few decent men on the political scene at that time. As soon as Blair was elected Labour leader what did he do, scrap clause four of the Labour Party constitution. That’s like ripping out the Sermon on the Mount from the Bible. From that point on New Labour, as it became known, instantly transformed itself into a sort of vacuous bubble of media-driven nothingness. Anyway, as predicted his Tonyness turns-out to be more Tory (right wing) than Thatcher ever was. In fact Mrs Thatcher was the first senior politician to visit Blair after he was elected. She came out of No.10 and casually proclaimed Blair as ’alright’. He’ll do, sort of thing.

What I found deeply disturbing was that people here simply bought into the whole thing to such an extent that some really quite serious financial misdemeanors were almost immediately forgiven and forgotten in a very short space of time, hence the phrase ’Teflon Tony’. New Labour began to implement policies the Tories could only dream about. Take Labours beloved sacred cow the National Health Service (NHS). Now if the Tories so much as mentioned privatisation (public ownership) in relation to the NHS there would’ve been riots in the streets. Enter Blairs teeth and it wasn’t long before they were talking about a private finance initiative (PFI). The Tories were like rabbits caught in the headlights. Labour were clearly pursuing policies that were beyond the dreams of even Mrs Thatch.

The problem is what you have here in the UK is basically two-party politics. Interestingly they call this democracy? Is this the people’s choice? I mean if you go into a restaurant and there are only two items on the menu, shit with salt and shit with pepper, you’d just walk out, wouldn’t you? Anyway, I tend to veer toward the lesser of two evils as I see it, that’s sympathetically or psychologically rather than hard support you understand. The lesser for my money has got to be the Tories and I’ll tell you exactly why. To start with a little financial skull-duggery is a given, and the Tories were at it for sure, but on a much lesser scale. Lest we forget, the Tories downfall in 97 was brought about by that weasel Neil Hamilton who caused an up-roar over the paltry sum of ten grand which was basically, as I understand it, a French hotel bill paid by Mohammed Al fied. This is chicken-feed when compared to the sums New-Labour is dealing with. Tony’s best mate Peter Mandelson has more than that in loose change stuffed down his fucking underpants. With Labour we’ve had one financial scandal after another, absolutely relentless corruption on a biblical scale. These fekers are so wealthy they can actually give one another mortgages. This is the so-called ’third way’ Socialism for the few: from each according to his needs, to each for as little as he can get away with. During the 97 election campaign I’ve never heard such bollocks talked in my entire life. They had more slogans than I could ever be bothered to remember but I do remember that they said that they needed to clean up politics and its time for a new start….Things can only get better…My Government will be ’whiter than white’…..etc…..pfffffffffff. – The fekers, people who actually believed this shit were entitled to vote!!!!! – think on……

For my money the Tories only redeeming feature is that they were far too busy sleeping with each others wives and or swinging from chandeliers in full leathers and chains to be bothered with the mundane business of law and policy making. In contrast, these Labour fuckers are serious politicians, professional indeed, fucking disaster, they actually believe the hype, or do they?

Parliamentary democracy is a system that elects people to administer and in many cases remove/control your freedoms in order to keep large groups of people under control. The issue is one of trust; the problems arise when you elect people who are either corrupt and or incompetent. Ask yourself the question why anyone would want to be a politician in the first place? They either crave power, which is a form of corruption in itself, or they are unable to get alternative employment, incompetent. With this in mind, just in case you were thinking of rushing out to vote. Here’s a brief synopsis, a mere snapshot if you will of UK Government activity since 1997 which, I might add, excludes dodgy sexed-up dossiers, Iraq/Afghanistan and so on….I’m afraid there aren’t enough hours in the fucking day for me to be writing about that!

May 1997 Mohammed Sarwar accused of bribery
Each year Blair’s freebie holidays
November 1997 Bernie Eccleston’s £1 million donation investigated
March 1998 Lord Irvine’s £650,000 wallpaper
March 1998 Scottish Parliament building tendering process & construction
July 1998 Downing Street adviser Roger Liddle investigate dover lobbying links
August 1998 Robin Cook’s affair with Gaynor Regan exposed
October 1998 Ron Davies’s Moment of Madness on Clapham Common
November 1998 Nick Brown admits paying for gay sex
December 1998 Geoffrey Robinson resigns over loaning money to Mandelson
December 1998 Peter Mandelson resigns over Geoffrey Robinson loan
July 1999 Derek Draper & Lobbygate
July 1999 Ken Collins, former Labour MEP, appointed chairman of the Scottish Environment Protection Agency with a salary of £45,000
October 1999 Ron Davies goes badger watching
October 1999 October 1999 – Failed Labour candidate Joan Aitken appointed as the Prisons Complaints Commissioner.
September 1999 Scottish Labour Party lobbying scandal
January 2000 Geoffrey Robinson faces fraud inquiry over Transtec
January 2000 Gordon Brown faces Inquiry over flat purchased from Maxwell ruins
January 2000 January 2000 – Police arrest Philip Chalmers, who earned £50,000-a-year as head of the Scottish Executive’s strategic communications unit, for being drunk at the wheel of his car in a red light district with a prostitute.
April 2000 John Prescott fails to disclose benefit of Union owned flat.
June 2000 Geoffrey Robinson in trouble with Belgian tax authorities.
June 2000 Lord Ali in trouble for using House of Lords as business address.
July 2000 David Blunkett fails to declare income from rent on his Wimbledon home
November 2000 Cherie Blair & Nannygate.
January 2001 Buyer of Millennium Dome Robert Bourne accused over donation to Labour
January 2001 Peter Mandelson resigns for the second time.
April 2001 – Failed Labour candidate Keith Geddes appointed to board of Scottish Natural Heritage
May 2001 May 2001 – Robin Young, a former non-executive director of Bovis (construction managers of the Scottish Parliament) appointed as permanent secretary at the Department of Trade and Industry
July 2001 Hindujahs receive passports after Labour donation
November 2001 Henry McLeish resigns as Scottish First Minister after office expense scandal
November 2001 November 2001 – Jack McConnell admits to affair with Labour party secretary who he tried to keep in situ by appealing to Labour MPs for funds. He says he has had no other affairs.
December 2001 Keith Vaz criticised by Standards Commissioner over business links
December 2001 Nigel Griffiths and £40,000 office expenses
January 2002 – Norman Murray, Labour councillor and former convenor of the Convention of Scottish Local Authorities, appointed board member of the Scottish Ambulance Service at £7,305 a year
January 2002 Labour spin doctors trash reputation of Rose Addis
January 2002 Enron accused of buying access to Labour after donation.
February 2002 Arthur Andersen & donations to Labour
February 2002 Martin Sixsmith forced to resign by Stephen Byers
February 2002 Jo Moore resigns over ’burying bad news’ email
March 2002 Lakshmi Mittal
March 2002 Donnygate Doncaster Labour scandal ends in prison for Labour councillors
May 2002 Stephen Byers resigns from government after various scandals
May 2002 Tessa Jowell criticises Labour for accepting donation from Richard Desmond
June 2002 Ken Livingstone accused of manhandling his partner while drunk at a party
June 2002 Black Rod accuses Downing Street of trying to muscle in on Queen Mother’s funeral
June 2002 Labour spin doctors accuse Paddington crash victim Pam Warren of being a Tory stooge
July 2002 Carphone Warehouse chairman claims Lord Levy tried to nobble a £1 million donation.
September 2002 Labour MP Alan Meale in trouble over deportation case linked to donation.
October 2002 – Lanarkshire Labour party hold a Red Rose Dinner attended by a notorious drug baron called Justin McAlroy
October 2002 – Forty-four constituency Labour parties in Scotland revealed to have failed to register agreements to accept regular donations from trades unions. Failure to do so is a criminal offence.
December 2002 Cherie Blair apologises over links to conman Peter Foster
March 2003 Clive Betts MP employed rent boy in House of Commons office
August 2003 David Kelly commits suicide
August 2003 Chris Bryant pictured in briefs on Gaydar website
August 2003 – Defeated Labour MSP Iain Gray appointed as Alistair Darling’s special adviser at a salary of £60,000
August 2003 – Failed Labour candidate Pat Kelly appointed to board of Scottish Water.
September 2003 – Harry McGuigan, a leading Lanarkshire Labour councillor appointed as a member of the Scottish Children’s Reporter Administration board.
November 2003 Margaret Hodge forced to resign over libelling Demetrious Panton
April 2004 Beverley Hughes resigns over Immigration scandal
February 2004 Labour criticised by Electoral Commission for late tendering of accounts
January 2004 – Revealed that Schlumberger hired disgraced special adviser Philip Chalmers to run the Scottish Tourist Board’s Visit Scotland website. The website is part of a Scottish Executive PFI contract
May 2004 Lord Drayson’s company wins non competitive tender contract after £50,000 donation to Labour
May 2004 – Failed Labour candidate Hugh Raven, a former parliamentary assistant to Peter Peacock, the education minister, awarded a £23,415 contract as a board member of Scottish Natural Heritage.
June 2004 – Willie Haughey, who has donated hundreds of thousands of pounds to the Labour party, appointed to the post of chairman of Scottish Enterprise Glasgow.
August 2004 August 2004 – Former Edinburgh Labour Provost Eric Milligan appointed Scotland’s “welcome czar” to the tourism industry. Although not paid a salary he receives expenses to travel the world.
October 2004 – Revealed that 70% of Scottish quango appointees have links to the Labour party.
December 2004 Oona King offered £10000 to bed Labour Euro MP.
January 2005 – Sarah Davidson, once an adviser to former Scottish secretary Helen Liddell, lands a £75,000-a-year job enforcing McConnell’s smoking ban. The new job was never advertised. She was the civil servant who presided over a £200m rise in the cost of Holyrood before taking a six-month sabbatical to travel round the world.
January 2005 Candy Atherton’s researcher digs for gay Tory dirt
January 2005 – Jack McConnell fails to register a holiday at the Spanish villa of BBC broadcaster Kirsty Wark.
February 2005 Cherie Blair embarks on lucrative Australian speaking tour.
March 2005 Labour charges £200 for candidate contact details.
April 2005 – Brian Wilson MP’s final section on Register of Members’ Interests shows directorships and advisory roles to renewable energy firms. As Energy Minister he promoted renewable energy
April 2005 – Revealed that Jack McConnell met with Labour donor Willie Haughey to discuss compensation on a land deal where the M74 would pass through Haughey’s property. Initial compensation of £7.4 million rose to £16.5 million.
May 2005 Birmingham Labour Party accused over post voting irregularities.
June 2005 Cherie Opens Shopping centre for Malaysian millionaire
June 2005 Labour MSP Ken MacIntosh resigns over non declaration of financial interests
June 2005 Cherie Blair cashes in on Tony’s Washington trip.
July 2005 – Defeated Labour MP David Stewart gets job with the publicly funded SCVO only two months after losing his seat.
August 2005 – Revealed that disgraced former Scottish Executive special adviser, Phil Chalmers, is heading up a bid by French IT firm Atos Origin to secure some of the ID card contracts.
September 2005 Michael Watson MSP blamed for arson.
October 2005 Blunkett resigns over links to DNA firm
October 2005 Cherie Gets £100,000 for “charity” speaking tour
October 2005 Stephen Byers apologies for lieing over Railtrack.
March 2006 – Defeated Labour MP Calum MacDonald gets publicly paid job as Forestry Commissioner
March 2006 Tessa Jowell & husband
March 2006 Peerages for Cash
March 2006 Prescott pays no Council tax
March 2006 Margaret Beckett’s Royal Flights
February 2006 Ken Livingstone loses Standards Board appeal over anti-Jewish remarks.
April 2006 Cameron MacIntosh says he was offered Peerage for loan
April 2006 Peter Law’s ’peerage’
April 2006 Charles Clarke & the failed deportations
April 2006 John Prescott’s Affair(s)
April 2006 Cherie Blair’s hairdressing bill
April 2006 – Jack McConnell under pressure over breaking the ministerial code of conduct by giving public backing to a luxury golf resort planned by Donald Trump which could prejudice the planning process for the development
April 2006 – Revealed that Jack McConnell met with furniture tycoon Robert Morris over compensation to relocate his factory on the route of the M74 extension. The £35million was more than double the original compensation offer….

Etc….Etc…….Etc……..

The problem with all this is that when the public are subjected to this level of corruption, when politicians get caught out on a lie it has a disastrous effect on society in general. In short, people start thinking it’s perfectly ok to lie their little heads off over just about anything. Bullshit here in the UK has reached epidemic proportions; some people are so deluded they fervently believe their own lies to be the truth. I suppose if you keep repeating a lie it becomes the truth? This is a syndrome suffered by politicians of course but it filters down. Look at football, how many times have you seen a footballer adamantly deny any wrong doing despite his actions being witnessed by 50 million people? Most people won’t admit fault even if you have their privates in a vice, it’s what I now call Blair Syndrome (BS). Whatever happened to ’an Englishman’s word is his bond’?

The prelude to all this as far as I am concerned was that the Blair/Brown Government were elected on an ocean of deception and media manipulation. As a result the perception was that, when elected, Labour would return to certain Socialist values and bring at least a few of the large utility companies back into public ownership. One of the sideshows in the run-up to the 97 election was Air Traffic Control and the slogan ’our air is not for sale’. Did they re-nationalise it when elected? Did they fuck! They had no intention of re-nationalising anything. The one thing I would have supported is the re-nationalising of the water company, this didn’t happen either. This makes my fucking blood boil it really does. I’m so sick and tired of this continuing debate about the cost of water and how we must all conserve it. Jesus H *********! We live on a fucking island which is surrounded by fucking water where it fucking rains 365 fucking days a year! Why the fuck are we having to conserve water all of a sudden? Not only that, we are now paying ten times as much for the fucking stuff than we were just 15 years ago! WHY!!! The product is free at the point of source and much of the pipe-work is already in place, paid for by the public. People are so paranoid about water usage now they’ve actually stopped washing. It won’t be long before the simple act of mingling with the public will require a fucking space suit to protect you from the smell! Still, that’s progress for you. The other day I got caught up in a queue, that’s so British isn’t it; I nearly passed out with the odour emanating from this old duffer. These days if you need a bath it would be cheaper to crack open and tip a bottle of Moet Chandon over you rather than open a fucking tap. This water cost paranoia has simply got to stop otherwise I’m gonna bust a blood vessel! ….

Local Government

Anyway, in my Grandfathers day perhaps ironically for him it was usually the socialist Government that sought to interfere and over-tax people so as to fund various failing nationalised industries. These days it’s not so much central Government, although I do find some of the stuff they are up to e.g. ID cards, an unbelievable intrusion into ones private affairs. Anyway, now, much of what use to be the responsibility of central Government has been delegated to local councils in which many of its employees would ironically not be out of place in a Nazi party…To these Government employees there is no ’spirit of the law’, only the letter, when it suits them!…and that letter can be manipulated to suite whatever purpose. Our local Government offices are more like a mini Kremlin rather than anything dreamt-up by Oliver Cromwell. They have an ’Officer’ for just about everything, pot-holes in the road – you name it.

Example 1

Some of you may have noticed in my pics section here on MySpace that I own an old American RV (Motorhome). I think the main reason I love it, given the fact I’m known for occasional bouts of obstinate perversity, is because people here in the UK absolutely fucking hate it. I’ve had people actually waving their fists at me for no apparent reason other than pure jealousy as far as I can make out. Either that or its hatred aided and abetted by the motoring celebrity Jeremy Clarkson who has a phobia about caravans and motorhomes because he *thinks* that they’re responsible for causing all traffic jams? Au contraire Jeremy, as it happens my experience is the exact opposite; every time I venture out I’m nearly always held-up by other road users in cars, Rovers usually, driven by old men in caps, usually, fuckers.

Anyroadup, one day I saw two people sniffing around outside casually taking photographs of the RV. I of course went out to confront/enquire as to their purpose. It turned out the two people were in fact council employees ’Planning Officers’, that has a certain third Reich ring to it, do you not think? – OFFICERS…That’s what they call themselves. let me clarify/reiterate: an unannounced official visit, taking photographs, on private property! The fucking cheek of it! What a shame I don’t live in America coz I could’ve shot both critters and be given an award for services to the community. Anyway, apparently one or several of my so-called neighbours (gutless bastards) have complained to the local Council about my RV. It seems the Council are obliged to investigate every complaint because if they do not investigate they could be held liable for any damages. Naturally, on hearing this bombshell I became argumentative and ordered them to stop taking photo’s immediately and explain themselves in full. Well of course this was asking too much but during the course of this unfolding altercation it became apparent that I was not dealing with Stephen Fry. It seems the Council in their infinite wisdom have decided that I am contravening planning regulations. When I asked in what form does this transgression take? said Planning Officer was unable to answer, it seems the very sight of it annoys them……he noticed it was hooked-up to electricity, this is to keep the batteries charged, but there was no-way I was going to tell him that, it’s none of his fucking business! He said, “You’re using it!” I said, “Well if you had a motorhome would you not use it”? He replied: “I wouldn’t have one”. This was like arguing with a fucking teenager and what’s infinitely worse is that I am paying this fuckers wages! No no no, what’s infinitely worse is that good honest men died for these fuckers to exist in the first place…

Example 2

As some of you may know I recently had occasion to visit Plymouth, very nice too, the Cornish side that is. Unfortunately the visit was somewhat marred by the fact that I was given confusing directions by a friend who assumed I would be approaching Plymouth from Exeter. Anyway, as it turns out I ended up going the wrong way and when I realised I had made a mistake I attempted to turn around, this meant crossing a ’white line’ in the middle of the road. Unfortunately all this was captured on CCTV and I will no-doubt receive a fixed penalty fine through the post as a result. The following day I had to make a specific journey to the Post Office to inform the Government that a vehicle of mine was no longer in use (off road) this is known as a SORN (Statutory Off Road Notification) declaration. I am legally charged with the responsibility of informing the Government that I’m ’not doing something’. The next day I received a letter from the BBC threatening me with legal action for not having a television…I’m not making this up by the way; trust me (that’s the politician in me coming out) this is just the very tip of the fucking iceberg.

Freedom?

I don’t know about the US but here in the UK our freedoms are rapidly disappearing, freedoms that people have actually died for are now gone, probably forever. I wonder how many of our soldiers would have bothered to fight if they knew that in a little over 50 years Rolls Royce would be owned by the Germans (and nothing wrong with that) and that Muslim Sharia law would be introduced in parts of Britain, and that many of our inner cities would be no-go areas. Not forgetting of course that Germany ends up being the richest nation in Europe and Japan the second richest on earth.

The point I am trying to make is that there seems to be no give and take, no room for manoeuvre in today’s rigid world of regulation and laws. This is brought into sharp focus when encountering anyone in a position of power. If this is democracy then you can stick it up your arse. We’d all be much better off living in a military dictatorship run by Sir Henry Wylde-Bore Smith. And by the way, don’t ever let anyone tell you we live in a ’democracy’. Your vote will not count; it will make absolutely no difference to anything whatsoever, if it did, they’d scrap it. As I said in a previous blog we live in a shaftocracy, one momentary lapse in concentration etc. Actually I think we live in deathocracy. There are millions of elderly people whose voting habits are determined on the basis of who’s going to give them a painless death? Further more there is no ’freedom of speech’ you cannot say what you like without falling foul of the law, especially when it comes to religion (blasphemy). The reason for this is that we live in a so-called multicultural society whereby people’s sensitivity has literally gone off the fucking chart.

Progress?

The call for *change* is one of the favourite soap-box slogans used by all politicians. What does it mean exactly, change/progress – progress/change…what it means is that the reason things need to change is because they fucked it up to start with. All political manifestos are built on the so-called need for change.

The other day I stumbled across a local town guide dated 1947. I couldn’t believe it; the place was really quite beautiful. I think Charles Kingsley described it as the little white town, it’s now known as the brown blob of shite, thanks to various local politicians, corrupt local councilors and property developers who get themselves on the planning committees.

In Cornwall, and here in Devon you can’t move for Londoners, they’re all desperate to vacate an area of the country that they themselves have totally ruined and by doing so find themselves being party to the destruction of their chosen destination. I live in what use to be a beautiful part of the country, a place where the said Londoner came on holiday. Well not any more, such is the extent of migration it’s all starting to look like Swindon on particularly shite day. Huge ugly housing estates are emerging. Politicians call this progress, I call it destruction. What’s needed is regress!

Here I am suggesting regress when the Government seem to be harking back to Roman times and appear to be sanctioning female cage fighting. Hardly surprising then, that in a recent survey it found that English and Scottish women are the most violent on the planet. Probably the most foul-mouthed as well. I’m not saying that my previous English girlfriends were hard but they could easily crack walnuts with their eyelids. Of course the worrying aspect of all this is that men, in their infinite wisdom, will feel the urge to up-the-anti in order to maintain a respectable differential. They’ll soon be carrying their testicles around in a wheelbarrow, this being a side effect of having applied too much nob enlargement cream. I have to admit, I am fast becoming ashamed and embarrassed by the British. If someone were to ask me for a British character reference I would probably recommend that they watch that TV program ’The Apprentice’ with Sir Alan Sugar, just to start with. There was a woman on that program that became known as ’super bitch’, she actually came from the town where I live. It gets worse, there’s a woman that lives opposite me that would give super bitch a real run for her money…..I suppose politicians at the end of the day reflect the people who elected them, so no wonder they’re a bunch of arseholes.

Devolution or Evolution

Here in the *United* Kingdom, well l I say United it’s hardly that, thanks to the politicians, Scotland want to be separate from England as do Wales and most of Northern Ireland, not to mention Cornwall or Kernow as it’s known. I love the Cornish, I love it because the *black economy* is thriving and as a consequence drives the authorities to complete distraction. Piracy, tiz een the blud bouy! I suppose this is why jokes like, what do you call a Cornishman in a suit? Answer – Defendant – exists.

The UK is clearly a much divided nation, my question is where’s all this going to end? I mean it won’t be long before places like Bury St Edmonds insist on acquiring their own nuclear deterrent and if recent reports on the failure of multi-culture are anything to go by, I wouldn’t blame them. Talking of which, all current UK politicians are banging on about how lucky we all are to be living in a *multi-cultural society* and we should be celebrating our differences etc. then in the next breath they tell us that these people, the foreigners presumably, need to undergo tests in order to determine their ’Britishness’, fuck-knows what that is? As I understand it the main concern is that they don’t speak English. I would have thought that if you celebrate diversity part of that diversity is language, other cultures communicate in their own language. This is surely cultural diversity at its most basic? By seeking to deny this basic level you have to ask just how multi-cultural are we? Its obvious to me that when you try and integrate people with extreme cultural differences this is a recipe for total belligerence on all sides. In other words it seems that true multi-culture is having real difficulties, and that’s putting it mildly. Notwithstanding, a society made up of various nationalities whereby the common denominator is the culture and language of the adopted country would clearly be more harmonious, for the indigenous population at any rate.

This rather obvious supposition appears to be completely lost on the Arch Bishop of Canterbury who recently advocated the introduction of Sharia law into British society. This is nothing more than a perpetuation of the ’us and them’ society. Also, just to exacerbate the malcontent, the divide between the rich and poor has never been greater, under a Labour Government I might add. When Jeremy Paxman interviewed Blair the question of the said financial divide was put to him, Blairs answer was to say that it’s better to bring the bottom layer up than the top layer down: now how fucking deluded is that?

As you probably know, devolution is devolving power from central Government to regional assemblies. Scotland has procured its own Parliament which has some minor legislative powers. The Holyrood building alone cost 420 million. Wales has an assembly, which is just a talking shop and now there’s talk of a north England assembly. And then there’s the Northern Ireland assembly, how much is that costing I wonder? All this means yet more politicians (jobs for the boys) more pointless laws, rules and regulations. It has to, otherwise what are they going to be doing with their time? I suppose they could all sit around discussing their expense accounts. I’m told that the allowances are incredibly generous; they can even claim £750 for a television for their second home!

Anyway, it seems to me that devolution and multi-culture have a problem; the two ideas are clearly incompatible, especially for those areas of Britain that want a complete break with England. They want cultural diversity provided the English don’t have a say in their affairs. This is clearly racist and sort of bizarre really when you consider how small the British Isles are. Of course I am referring to Scotland where people have had this abject hatred of the English ever since the battle of Culloden. I am part Scottish by the way; my ancestors fought the last clan feud in Scotland. These people were fucking mad! Hmmm, so that’s where I get it from? Anyway, given that people here in the UK are unable to agree a political way forward why do they think they are best placed to organise Europe? This is another incompatibility or contradiction, a united Europe and a completely divided UK thanks to devolution. Here you have an island mentality, what’s needed is about 20 million years of evolution before any of this is going to work, but in the meantime……..

The Solution

I suspect you all think I’m an anarchist, not a bit of it, I mean all groups or collections of people have a leader of some sort don’t they, tribes have a chief and so on, and by the way, I have a short message for the person who replies with “ah yes but the remote Iggywumba tribe in Papaya New Guinea runs on a non hierarchical system”. – FUCK OFF!!!

As I said I’m not an anarchist but they do say the best form of Government is ’benevolent dictatorship’. What I do know is that professional politicians of all variety do not have the answers. So, what is the answer? Well, I think we should reinstate the Royals. What is Parliament for anyway? Unless they use what is known as the ’Parliament act’ all legislation has to be passed by the largely un-elected House of Lords. Of course Blair and his cronies have tried to make it more democratic but is it, is it bollocks! Personally I think old Guy Fawkes had the right idea anyway, and incidentally I object to the November 5^th bon-fire night celebrations, purely on the grounds that Fawkes failed in his attempt, that and it upsets animals. Why on earth celebrate the fact he failed? Why this is treasonable talk! I don’t think so; in any case I am a Royalist, a cavalier. So, I think it’s time to abolish Parliament and re-instate the royals. Imagine it, Prince Charles in charge, now admittedly there are bound to be a few teething problems, the odd mad idea, but the point is there would be significantly fewer! And if Parliament is to remain then the reigning monarch should at least have authority over it. You know, back to pre-civil war times. I quite like the idea of King Charles marching on Parliament to dissolve it every time they come up with a fucking stupid idea.

Blimey, he’d wear is fucking boots out. Anyway, it seems the ex attorney general Lord Goldsmith and Gordon Brown agree with me. In a report they both commissioned it is being recommended that school-leavers should be encouraged to swear an oath of allegiance to the Queen. Lord Goldsmith says it would give teenagers a sense of belonging. Presumably this would precede sending them off to Afghanistan?

The Royals of course are also removed from reality in much the same way our beloved politicians are but in a more naive eccentric way, I think. I recently witnessed a somewhat surreal interview with Prince Harry who said that all his dreams have come true now that he’s been deployed in Afghanistan to fight the Taliban. I imagine that it must be so much more fun to actually get to shoot some people rather than ’this and that’ on his dad’s estate? I must admit to being, how should I put this, slightly amused when there he was in full battle dress looking like Rambo on steroids, in the middle of what I presumed to be a desert, he casually says’ it’s so nice to feel normal’. I know what you mean Harry…<

Higgs Boson

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