What troubles me about this whole debate, if you can call it that, is that if anyone dares to question the alleged globally accepted wisdom of climate change scientists they are more or less treated as holocaust deniers, fringe lunatics on the [...]]]> Higgs on

Global Warming

What troubles me about this whole debate, if you can call it that, is that if anyone dares to question the alleged globally accepted wisdom of climate change scientists they are more or less treated as holocaust deniers, fringe lunatics on the very edge of sanity. Here in the UK environmentalism is getting very evangelical and is actually on the cusp of being legally viewed as a religion. It will mean that you cannot be fired/sacked or even made redundant if you happen to have certain unspecified deeply held beliefs about the environment. Another thing is that whenever broadcasters debate this issue, rarely is that debate balanced, by that I mean they never manage to find a scientist –  and they do exist –  to put a counter argument to this whole global warming issue. By that I mean no one is arguing that the climate doesn’t fluctuate; the issue is whether or not, or at least to what extent humans are responsible for that climate fluctuation.

As I see it the problem is a real dichotomy for the creatures who aim to control us all, because you cannot on one hand support the perpetual growth of the human population and talk about raising living standards etc. whilst simultaneously delivering the necessary actions required to save the planet. That’s simplifying it I know because there are so many complex forces all pulling in different directions. Because of this I believe that multi-property owning energy munching politicians should just shut the fuck-up. I also believe that whatever they say about the importance of this so-called new Copenhagen Treaty, will be, and is already proving to be, total bollocks. This treaty will undoubtedly lead to a festival of utterly stupefying legislation that’ll drive us all nuts. They say it’s important; no it isn’t, not really. What’ll happen is that a few people/companies/countries, probably their mates, will become incredibly rich on the back of their carbon trading policies because the commercial world is simply not able to operate within their parameters as set out no doubt in said treaty. If the environmentalists are to be believed then we need zero emissions now, not in 2020. But the thing is politicians simply won’t tell us the truth because zero emissions or even lowering emissions to any great extent in the short term means the end of capitalism, the end of industrialisation and the end of life as we know it.

I am not going to be the first person to say this but anyone serious about saving the planet would not be using the Internet, inconvenient I know but imagine how much energy it requires, the world over. I suppose new technologies will emerge and PC’s will become evermore eco-friendly but I say why can’t we do this now, why can’t we utilise the energy from existing internet usage? As we all know approximately 95% of internet traffic is pornography, so why not harness this energy somehow, channel this raw energy into the flux capacitor, so to speak, from the heat generated by our genitals? There’s a thought, the new Dell Genitalia, has a certain ring to it, no? Anyway lap-top fuckers of the world could unite and save the planet at the same time! It could even be an Olympic sport, well maybe not. Anyroad, taking Microsoft’s touch-screen technology in just a few years that could really take-off, as this technology develops I can envisage computers that look and feel exactly like a real woman or real man depending upon your particular persuasion. The interesting thing though, for me, is to predict when precisely the scientists take a step back and think: hang on, why don’t we use real women? There we are, full circle as usual, meanwhile yet another giant whole in the ozone layer has been created and the bloody scientists get to blame someone else, the lap-top fuckers no doubt.

I remember during the last general election campaign fiasco I was innocently drifting through the high street, trying to ignore the pain caused by my wife’s shopping expedition, when I suddenly happened upon a particularly enthusiastic Green Party candidate. Nothing annoys me more than misplaced left wing over enthusiasm. Anyway, unfortunately I was feeling slightly argumentative and for no apparent reason decided to engage the fucker! As I understand it he was basically saying that the planet is being destroyed by global warming, sea levels are rising and we’re all about to drown in a tidal wave of our own shit and the road to salvation is to vote for him, sort of thing, an apocalyptic sermon as it were..Eventually I managed to get a word in. I suppose the look on my face must have said it all because the small gathering suddenly became very quiet, a hushed silence you might say. I started by saying that you could fill the UK Parliament with Green Party MP’s and it wouldn’t make a scrap of difference to what you describe as ‘global warming’, or if you want to be more precise, the rate at which the earth is heating up as a direct result of human agency, of which there is no real evidence and in point of fact there is no real evidence that C02 (carbon dioxide) drives the earths climate anyway. I swear you could actually see steam coming out of this blokes ears, it was almost like saying to a born-again Christian well if your particular god does exist he’s a bit of a c**t, look! Spina bifida!

Why, he said. CHINA, that’s why. The Chinese are opening three new fossil fuel driven power stations every week! Ah, he said, we need to set an example. Oh for fuck sake!! You totally over estimate the potential British input here, we are a tiny sod of earth just off the coast of France, what possible difference could we make? I don’t think there are many foreign countries that’ll be willing to take any lessons from the British do you? I honestly think some of these environmentalists have a sort of Harry Enfield Look Listen and Take Heed Chalmondeley Warner hallucination as to the size of Britain’s influence on these matters. I digress, anyway even if we were to comply with your every fantasy and people en-masse start spending small fortunes on having solar panels and wind turbines etc. Oh and those bloody silly low energy light bulbs the only people that would benefit are those fekers with all their money invested in the making of the sodding stuff. In any case, as I’ve said, there is no real evidence that it is human agency causing climate fluctuation. The fact is that the earth’s climate has been in a state of flux since the dawn of time, humans have only been here five minutes, in geological terms.

Study of pollen has proven that the climate here in England during the Bronze Age was in fact warmer than it is now. Go back even further in time say 500,000 years and here in Devon the climate was virtually sub-tropical, I’m told we had creatures such as Elephants and even Lions wandering around. What fucking global warming, I’m freezing my nuts off here, why do I have to insulate my home if the world is going to be a bit warmer? Well apparently here in the UK it’s going to get colder, I’m sorry, they’ve lost me there! How do they explain these anomalies in America? Are they telling you that Fred Flintstone ran his monster truck on unethical fart power? Talking of which, there’s also growing concern that man’s obsession with all things bovine and the inevitable consequence (cow shit, or to be precise methane) of the meat industry is also having an adverse effect on the climate. It was reported on the BBC News that scientists in India are recommending that people should eat less meat. As a vegetarian I say stop eating meat by all means but don’t subject me and my friends to a bewildering array of insane environmental regulations based on the so-called scientific dodgy dossier evidence dreamt up by various government scientists with their fingers in the fucking till. They’ll say anything for money, look at the oil company Shell or the tobacco industry, they paid scientists a fortune just to say exactly what they wanted to hear. Take it from me, you ARE being manipulated and lied to. Oh, you don’t believe me? Then take a look at this recent article entitled:

Climate scientists accused of ‘manipulating global warming data’

This appeared in the broadsheet news paper – -  The Daily Telegraph – -  In any case, if cows were the main cause of excessive greenhouse gasses what on earth would Brontosaurus farts do to the planet? They must have caused one hell of a hole in the ozone layer over a period of 600 million years, how did it repair itself then? Did the dinosaurs have solar panels and low energy light bulbs? Were they recycling and washing out their Marmite pots? I don’t fucking think so somehow, do you? Maybe it was Fred Flintstone after all, bloody Americans! WILMA!!! Perhaps Fred had one too many Pteranodon curries which culminated in a critical green house gas event in his pants – Rectaloxide (ROX) being the hitherto unaccounted for green house gas in dinosaur extinction folklore. That would’ve been the final straw for the dinosaurs in my view, just one fart too many and – BOOM!

The problem is that there are now huge vested interests in hoodwinking the public into swallowing this whole climate change bollocks. It’s not just politicians and scientists, it’s journalists, university lecturers as well, they are ALL making a very good living, thank you very much, out of spouting this largely unproven bollocks, most of which is pure postulation and guess work, and the public being the public seem to be swallowing it hook line and sinker, as usual. It’s when they start tinkering with the law that pisses me off. I mentioned low energy light bulbs, soon it will be against the law to have any traditional light bulbs in your house, but this again is total crap. This is NOT about saving energy at all. I was talking to an electrician about this and he said that because these new eco light bulbs or halogen lights don’t emit much light, his customers are telling him to install in some cases up to a dozen or more low energy halogen lights to make up for the lack in light, which as a result then uses  much more electricity than having just one florescent tube. In any case I strongly object to being told by government to get buying their light bulbs or face prosecution, it’s the law, which I have no doubt is going to be used as a form of persecution so we are forced to line their pockets. Forcing people by law to use specific light bulbs is not green environmentalism, it’s fascism.

Here in the UK, because the price of heating your home has doubled in recent years, this has culminated in a massive rise in the sale of wood burners. I would imagine, although I could be wrong, but I doubt it, that this would negate or rather cancel-out any alleged gains made by the low energy light bulb extravaganza. Solar panels and in particular those solar tubes for heating water are so expensive they are the preserve of the super-rich and in any case they don’t actually save you any money for nearly 30 years, by which time the bloody stuff will be worn out anyway, especially if it has ‘Made in England’ stamped on it. Not for one moment wishing to sound like Ricky Gervaise but I think someone’s having a laugh here aren’t they?

Then there’s recycling, what a waste of time that is, my mother organises her entire life around recycling and those bloody great big green garden waste bins that she seems to think need filling up, to the brim, at all cost, whether they need filling or no, every week. Then the council arrive in a fucking great lorry to collect all this pointless waste, in the meantime my garden, just like the Brazilian rainforest is fast disappearing. Is this energy efficient or being in any way whatsoever kind to the environment. In my humble opinion, no. Turns out that many councils are exporting our waste to China for processing! How can this possibly be regarded as environmentally friendly? They are cutting down the tropical rain forest in order to produce bio diesel. I don’t care what anyone says, this is literally insane. Again, if governments were serious this activity would stop and stopping this would surely be a lot easier than trying to persuade the great unwashed to change their habits?

If the British government were truly concerned about global warming why do they hound so-called new-age travellers, these are people who, by the very fact they live as they do, have little or no impact on the global environment. If they choose to live and mind their own business in the woods and live outside society, why not let them? Various local governments (councils) up and down the country go to extraordinary lengths to evict people living in this way, again it’s a form of persecution, why? Because it’s all about making the rich middle class feel just a little bit better about themselves, it is only they that can afford all this zero carbon house bollocks. If politicians were actually serious about climate change why are they encouraging local councils up and down the country in the rural areas of Britain to buy loads of clapped-out Double-Decker busses from the cities? These busses emit incredible amounts of pollution because most of there lives have been spent driving around the flat areas of suburbia when suddenly it has to start climbing steep hills. I know, every time I  venture out on my bike I have to breath-in the acrid exhaust fumes of these huge busses being driving around with only one or two passengers on board. Back in 80’s we had mini-busses, what the fuck happened to them?

Here where I live the traffic is now virtually bumper to bumper 4×4’s being driven by people who not only have no concept of the width or the length of their vehicle but people who are completely oblivious to their surroundings and self evidently any ethical dimension to their actions i.e driving their children to school when they only live 500 yards up the road. As Sean Lock said “there are people who would happily fly to the shops”. If the government were serious about climate change why are they encouraging people to buy a new car by scrapping the old one? Why prop-up an industry that is largely responsible for the human contribution to climate change? The list of governmental inconsistencies goes on and on because they wont face up to the fact that capitalism and what they describe as progress sits very uncomfortably with environmentalism and because their selfish voters get twitchy if their life-styles get threatened politicians are shall we say economical with the truth.

I am reminded of something that happened to me in my childhood. I was raised on a farm that was situated at the bottom of a valley which was once formed part of a river system, a tributary I suppose, I’m told that the valley was once tidal. Following development, this meant that the valley occasionally flooded and when this happened half the town got flooded, including our farm. Anyway one year it was particularly bad to the extent that I thought we were all going to drown. My step father was having his breakfast, as usual, when I entered and warned him that perhaps we should start moving stuff upstairs. This advice was treated with utter contempt, he just sat there stuffing his face, oh well I thought, he can fucking drown then for all I care, perhaps he could use a slice of toast as a life raft, twat. Anyway, sure enough the water was coming across the main road and into the farmyard. Eventually, the water came within an inch of our front door and still the stupid man was acting as if nothing was happening. It was only when he opened the door to a room we called the ‘bug-hole’ (a workshop) anyway he opened the door and to his horror the carpet was literally floating. Only then would he act.

So there we are, do you really think people are going to change their habits? No one in their right mind believes anything governments tells them. and as for people changing now, not a cats chance in hell! The only thing that would stop these women who drive their progeny 500yrds to school is if the price of fuel is raised to £200 per gallon. Is that going to happen, errrrrr, NO!

This very morning I was listening to BBC Radio4 and the subject was of course climate change and this forthcoming Copenhagen Treaty. During the interview with what I presumed was a climate change scientist, the scientist said that there is now irrefutable evidence that humans cause climate change.* This is nothing short of disingenuous isn’t it? To say or suggest that humans are the sole cause of climate change to me is ridiculous. We are partly responsible, possibly? Some scientists say that we need zero carbon emissions now, not in ten years time so what the hell is the point of this Copenhagen Treaty which by all accounts has already failed… Well perhaps the word ‘failed’ is too strong, I dare say they all ‘succeeded’ in claiming their expenses from the public purse, bastards. Don’t kid yourself, they don’t give a flying fuck about the environment, if they did they’d fucking walk to Copenhagen, well the European one’s would..Would I walk there? Don’t be a twat! I’d be circling in me Leer jet, arse out the window shouting ‘eat this fuckers!

A couple of days ago on the BBC News Sophie Rayworth asked the British Environment Secretary Hilary Ben if climate change was responsible for the floods in Cumbria as it is reckoned to be a ‘one in one thousand year event’. Hilary Ben said “well scientists tell us that we will experience more extreme weather as the earth warms up”. Now hang on a minute, just a couple of years ago, if I remember correctly, the scientists were saying that here in Britain we will experience milder winters. Now apparently they are saying that we will experience more frequent ‘extreme events’. They flip-flop more often than the weather ever did. Anyway, Sophie then went on to say that it’s the heaviest rain or most amount of rain in Cumbria since “records” began. What does that mean? Nothing, in terms of how the earths climate is effected by our activities, it’s always fucking raining in Cumbria, I know, I lived their once for six months, in a tent, mad. The thing is rainfall is not the only factor in determining the causes of flooding. Take our valley, as I said. it was once part of a river system. Most of the flooding is caused by water run-off from houses the local council have permitted to be built, not on the flood-plane but higher up on the hills. In other words the water has to go somewhere, downward usually. This rather simple scientific principle is totally lost on local government officials who wonder why the town is prone to flooding. Before all this development water would have simply dissipated/soaked away naturally through the ground, helped by all the trees, which of course have all been felled to make way for completely unnecessary development. I say unnecessary because it’s houses for bloody Londoners, that makes it unnecessary.

So there we are, fuck-all to do with climate change really but the way in which politicians present the issue, suggesting that alleged human driven climate change is the cause, is just plain wrong. Not only that, can anyone really believe them when it is they that are largely responsible for all that is wrong with the world. Talking of trees, they are cutting down the tropical rain forest in order to produce bio diesel. I don’t care what anyone says, this is literally insane. Again, if governments were actually serious and their words actually meant anything this activity would stop immediately, and stopping this would surely be a lot easier than trying to persuade the great unwashed to change their habits before we all become criminals in our own homes?

trouble is there is an inconsistency in my argument because on one hand I am saying that people won’t change their habits and on the other hand not wanting to change the law when clearly the only way to get people to comply is to use the law. Fuck me, it’s going to end up far worse than George Orwell ever could have imagined isn’t it? It’ll be just like what Bill Hicks said about car drivers allowing people to cross the road in LA, only in LA does this common courtesy require legislation, but that’s what people are like all over the world really I suppose, we are fucking doomed, are we not..

Some scientists claim that the cause of climate change has more to do with Sun spots/solar storms and that the activity of the Sun has a far greater effect on the earths climate than previously thought. In 1859 the earth experienced what is described as the ‘perfect storm’. This, even back then, created absolute havoc, but imagine if this were to happen today, it might happen in 2012 because Sun spot cycles recur every eleven years. Anyway if this were to happen on the same scale as in 1859 there would be a literal meltdown of society as we know it, this has absolutely nothing to do with green house gas emissions, but given our total economic dependency on all things electrical, it would surely be a total disaster. Given the multiple of factors involved here I believe that it is perfectly reasonable to say that climate change is caused by a number of much misunderstood phenomenon’s. It is simply not good enough to say that any one cause warrants the spawning of an entire new industry and all the subsequent legislation that will follow, when all they really need to do is tell people to start shagging their laptops instead of each other, in other words; have less children. That my friends is the real inconvenient truth.

Higgs Boson

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